Please Let Dame Judi Dench Keep Slaying In Absolute Trash Like ‘Cats’ and ‘Artemis Fowl’



Artemis Fowl, released last weekend on Disney+, is an almost incomprehensibly bad film in which Josh Gad shoots dirt out of his ass like a woodchipper and the main character keeps visibly aging and de-aging between scenes like a YA Benjamin Button. The film is a cursëd artifact, one I’d normally recommend burying at the bottom of the ocean like a foul mythical beast were it not for the genuinely fascinating performance by Judi Dench as Commander Julius Root of the Lower Elements Police Reconnaissance. In Artemis Fowl, Seven-time Olivier Award-winner Judi Dench—one of …