Self claimed Godman Gurmeet Ram Rahim Singh Insaan 5 times offended us

New Delhi: On Wednesday, comedian Kiku Sharda, best known for appearing on Comedy Nights with Kapil was arrested. Apparently the offending video showed his portrayal of Gurmeet Ram Rahim Singh Insaan in an entertainment segment of the show. The segment mocked godmen who made news, including Radhe Maa, Gurmeet Ram Rahim Singh Insaan and even yoga guru Baba Ramdev. It was a light-hearted segment but hardcore followers of Babaji were offended and Kiku was booked under section 295 A (outraging religious feelings of any class by insulting its religious or religious belief).

A case was registered by Uday Singh, and Kiku was arrested despite apologising. He reiterated he was an artist and “presented the programme on the directions of the channel and programme producers”. “I was given a dress, script to read and directed to act,” he said, adding that he had been booked in the case but no action was taken against others involved, including the TV channel.

The big guy himself took to Twitter to tell us that he was fine with it if Kiku had apologised. Gurmeet Singh tweeted: “I was busy shooting OnlineGurukul; just got to know, devotees are hurt due to Kiku’s action. If he has apologized, no complaint from my side.”

I am sorry, what? You are fine with it if he has apologised? Didn’t we hear earlier that you were not a religious organisation? If so, then how can religious sentiments be hurt. And you’re really making another movie?

While our sensibilities are less sensitive that those of Gurmeet Rahim Singh Insaan’s followers, we have still indulged the good man a lot. Bro, you can’t make movies and expect everyone to praise it to high heavens. So here are five times Gurmeet Ram Raheem Singh Insaan hurt our sensibilities (and we won’t even bring up the body hair):

MSG 1 Trailer

This is the first time we discovered that there existed a man in our times who was a combination of every great man to ever walk the face of this earth. It was a complete mystery how we didn’t know that a man this impressive walked amongst us, but this trailer would change everything. No longer would we live in ignorance of his brilliance.

Mozart move aside, here’s MSG’s Love Charger

Then we learned that this man was not just the greatest man to ever walk the face of this earth, he also sang! ‘Love Charger’ was a song we could never have conceived. Its lyrics work so beautifully that it seems impossible a human being actually composed this.

MSG 2 Teaser in English

In less than a year, Gurmeet Ram Rahim Singh was back in his old avatar of philanthropist, action man, spiritual leader and body hair farmer. While the new teaser had lots of the chutzpah we’ve come to associate with the man, including defying the rules of gravity, logic and physics, even more impressive was the English dubbing of the teaser which showed him beating up tribal people and a poor CGI elephant.

Might we add, that we weren’t the only ones offended by this one. Jharkhand, Chhattisgarh and Madhya Pradesh banned the movie. I’d be offended too if someone said this about me: “Adivasis are neither humans nor animals, they are devils.” It was all the more impressive in English.

MSG 2 Title Track

The sequel of the movie had a title track with extremely high production values, which showed us the great man dancing around without reason, and doing regular stuff like playing tennis, and just bawling at us.

Documentary: The Super Human

Finally, the pièce de résistance, as far as offending someone goes, is this 33-minute-long documentary. Unlike the movies, this one actually claims that he is literally the greatest man to walk the earth. In the documentary, humbly titled The Super Human, we’re shown his various skills including super-strength, Tony Stark-like engineering skills and Dominic Tourette-like driving skills. We’re assured he’s basically a real-life combination of Leonardo Da Vinci, Swami Vivekananda, Steve Jobs, Usain Bolt and Arnold Schwarzenegger. He is in many ways like Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt’s imaginary character from Fight Club) but unlike Fight Club, we never stop talking about him.

PS: We don’t know who convinced Gurmeet that this was a good idea, but that person is really having a laugh.