If Raj and Simran Had Facebook instead of DDLJ

Mumbai, Rutu Ladage: Dilwale Dulhania Le Jaayenge is one of the most iconic Bollywood movies of all times. Raj & Simran are paragons of virtuous lovers and Amrish Puri, the coconut dad with a hard exterior which finally cracks at the end. But honestly, what if Raj and Simran had Facebook while DDLJ was made? It would be a completely different story we assure you!

1. Baldev on Farmville


Baldev on Farm

We are pretty sure the movie would open with Baldev, a.k.a Amrish Puri feeding not just pigeons but even cows and pigs and goats on Farmville. A true blue desi farm right in the middle of London. Sigh! The joys of Facebooking…


2. Simran’s Poetic Status Updates


DDLJ Kajol

All of Simran’s poems would be her status updates. Liked by her mother and Chutki of course! We aren’t really sure if Simran would add her father to her friend list though…
P.S: We do hope Simran had a YouTube account for all those saucy moves she grooved to while singing the poems! Instant viral hit we say!



3. Raj’s ‘Cool and Happening’ Timeline


DDLJ Raj hugs father

Meanwhile we’re sure Raj’s timeline would be full of check-ins at the coolest parties and pubs. Oh and some photos with daddy dearest. 



4. Simran’s Wedding Plans


DDLJ Kajol with Dad

So, Baldev and Ajit are chatting over FB when suddenly, Ajit forwards the link to his son’s FB profile and asks Baldev about the promise they made light-years ago. Baldev, obviously impressed by the brawny lad gives the green signal and calls Simran to read his exciting chat. Poor Simran.

P.S: And of course Simran can’t find Kuljit on FB! There are only, like a 1000 search results, and she doesn’t even know his spelling (Kuljeet or Kuljit or knowing how cool he is, is it Kooljit?! Bahh!). Of course her father wouldn’t share the link. Surprise, you see.



5. Event Updates


DDLJ Train Scene 1

Raj and Simran are both going for the Eurail trip and we’re pretty sure they both would have clicked the ‘Going’ tab. Excitement’s building and Simran’s poetic updates now include a Eurail rhyme somewhere! 



6. Sh*tums! In a Barn with a Boy!


DDLJ Raj and Simran in a Barn

After irritating the hell out of Simran and posting thousands of pictures on Facebook, Raj’s antics lead to Simran missing the train. Left with no other option, the two of them spend their time in a barn, getting drunk. Now, I only wonder what mommy dearest will say when she checks Simran’s latest check-in. Oops. 



7. Simran Reveals the Truth


DDLJ Raj hugs Simran

After all those million dances, the two are in love. It’s the last day of the trip and they’re reunited with their gang, thanks to FB stalking for restaurant check-ins. And it is here, when Raj finally goes up to Simran to ask her the most important question, “Will you accept my fraandship request?” that Simran reveals the truth. She’s getting married! Uh-oh. 



8. Daddy Dearest Hears All!


DDLJ Baldev knows all

Now, so excited was Simran’s mom in checking out her daughter’s check-ins on FB that she totally forgot Baldev was standing right behind her, looking into her FB account. And now that he knows all, the only option is to ship Simran off to India ASAP. 



9.  Serious FB Stalking



In all the confusion, Simran forgot to accept Raj’s friendship request. But some serious FB stalking later, he realises what happened and immediately rushes off to India to win his beloved’s hand!



10. Raj Befriends Kuljeet


DDLJ Kajol Clapping

Now that he’s finally in India, Raj accomplishes what Simran couldn’t. He finds Kuljeet on FB and sends him a friend request! He even uses the couchsurfer FB app and lands up in Kuljeet’s house. Smart bro!



11. Preeti Makes an Entry


DDLJ mandira Bedi

Instantly charmed by her brother’s (Kuljeet) new friend, Preeti sends Raj a friend request. Which obviously he accepts. And even ends up liking a couple of her DPs, shares and status updates which leads to Preeti running to her parents with the news.



12. Raj + Preeti = FB Sensation!


DDLJ Raj and Preeti

Simran is fuming by now with all the confusion. Raj’s father, suddenly surprised seeing Raj’s pics with Preeti on FB mistakes her to be the girl his son loves and rushes to India to marry them off.



13. Baldev Does Some FB Stalking Himself


DDLJ Flower Scene

Curious to know the real change in Raj, Baldev does some serious FB stalking of his own and stumbles upon pictures of Raj and Simran (luckily left untagged) in Raj’s album. All hell breaks loose.



14. The End



DDLJ Last Scene

A lot of bashing and FB comment-section fights (IN CAPSLOCK) later, Raj finally departs. Simran begs Baldev to let her go with him and be happy. She threatens to make his Farmville obsession public. Left with little choice, Baldev lets Simran go. And at last, Raj changes his relationship status to ‘In a Relationship’ and Simran accepts his Friend Request.