Pete Davidson really wishes Ariana Grande has not told the world that he has a giant penis.
Yes, it’s true:
This may the biggest first world problem anyone has ever encountered.
Back in June, in case you somehow forgot, Grande was asked by a fan for the length of her interlude in the track “Pete.”
But the pop star used this as an opportunity to joke (or not joke?) about her then-fiance’s d-ck size, replying that she estimated Davidson’s unit to measure around 10 inches.
When erect, we assume.
If that were her measurement when merely flaccid, well… there’s just no way Grande would be walking properly, even all these months later.
So this sort of just became something everyone knows about Pete Davidson.
The guy is funny on Saturday Night Live. He has battled substance abuse problems for years. And he’s massively hung.
However, during a stand-up comedy act at Tarrytown Music Hall in New York on January 12, Davidson told attendeed that he actually would have preferred it if Grande had kept this information to herself.
“I don’t like that she talked all that sh-t for my penis,” he joked to the crowd, referencing Ariana’s height and adding:
“Everything is huge to her. Why would she tell everyone that I have a huge penis? So that every girl who sees my d-ck for the rest of my life is disappointed.”
That’s pretty funny, we must admit.
And it’s also sort of accurate:
Grande stands only five feet tall.
In her “Thank U, Next” music video, which indirectly addressed many of her ex-lovers, Grande added that a certain past boyfriend was “really big.”
And we’re pretty sure she meant in the crotch department.
Davidson, who appeared to threaten suicide not too long ago and who is hopefully doing much better these days, is obviously now using these Grande quotes for joke material.
Which is his right, of course.
But it does bring up something of a double standard, doesn’t it?
Yes, we all laugh when Grande mentions Davidson’s impressive penis size.
We all assume Davidson should just be flattered and pretty psyched that the world is aware of his status down there.
However, let’s turn the tables. Let’s say a famous guy was going on and on in public about how his famous ex had giant boobs.
He’d be dismissed as a sexist and a huge pig, right?
Just something to consider, folks.