Top Indian habits that ensure we continue to be like that only

Mumbai: The unique art perfected over the years, continues. Except, the radius is longer, arch has gotten perfectly rounded and the colour? Better red than dead!


1 Haggle: From clothes to veggies, when attempts to purchase at half rate or discount price for more than one item, we still put up a show of walking away, jilted.
2 Fairness creams: Our obsession over ‘un-browning’ ourselves will continue. Doesn’t matter if the creams are packed with steroids to temporary lighten skin but later tarnish…how else do we attract prospective grooms?

3 Not covering mouth while yawning or apologising after a sneeze: Something we learnt in school, but clearly didn’t register.
4 Traff*ed: 1214 road crashes occur every day in India and 1 road crash death every 4 minutes. Those on/in a vehicle still attempt to honk out other vehicles off streets, cut lanes, mouth profanities, speak over cell phone, overtake, break signal, avoid helmets.
5 Evil eye and other superstitions: Our idea of nazar utharna will still ensure our babies resemble pandas with the thick kohl we rub into their eyes or put a spot each on their palms, feet and behind ears; hang nimbu-mirchi or obnoxious warning buri nazar tera mooh kaala on vehicles; won’t trim nails at night, enter puja room when menstruating or assume bad luck is on us when glass breaks… yes we are still believers of doom.
6 Scratching in public: This trait ascertains we evolved from monkeys. Some scratch in slo-mo so the garment stays intact. Some are yet to discover Itch-Guard. Some just don’t care. And some, like LB Jeffries in Rear Window using a back-scratcher to scratch his foot wrapped in cast, we resort to scratch-toys – toothpicks, pencils or ruler for the back and rear.
7 Hitting the life out of a gadget when it malfunctions: We smack anything — remote control, TV, stereo, AC, computer, fridge, camera… we’re quick to raise our hand on any device that disobeys. This ‘beating’ brings back lost connection, bang on. But only temporaily.
8 Spitting: The unique art perfected over the years, continues. Except, the radius is longer, arch has gotten perfectly rounded and the colour? Better red than dead!
9 My God is better than yours: Dadri riots, beef ban… need we say more.
10 Bandh: Our love for bans skyrocketed last year – India’s Daughter, Fifty Shades of Grey, porn, beef, AIB roast, Gmail or Yahoo in government spaces.
11 Using mobile phone as transistor: Mostly by train goers and morning walkers, making your playlist known to all.
12 Show off: Comparing kids, height-weight-looks, spouses, job, bank balance, weddings…some things never change.

13 Big, fat Indian weddings: Stats show the Indian wedding industry is over Rs 100,000 crore with a 25 to 30 per cent growth rate. Destination, colour codes, designer wear, pre-during-post wedding shots are getting bigger and louder, costlier and grander.